Most of you that know me know that I can't hear "diddly squat," and maybe that's the reason I never seem to understand the lyrics of most songs, but I don't think so because I couldn't understand them even when I had 20/20 hearing (is there such a thing as that?).
Case in point.....Remember the famous Beach Boys song "Help Me Rhonda." Call your favorite "oldies" station and ask the DJ to play it during "request hour." Then listen to the words. You only have to hear the first two lines to realize what I'm talking about. To me they sound like,
"Well since she put me down there's been owls pukin' in my bed."
Of course, I looked it up and what the song really says is "Well since she put me down I've been out doin' in my head," which makes less sense to me than the first version. What does "out doin' in my head" mean anyway? Greek to me!
When I was at Western (Kentucky University not State Hospital), the song Louie, Louie was the hit of the nation. I had heard it was banned from some radio stations because of it's "tawdry" lyrics. I always believed it said:
"Louie, Louie, oh no, Baby we gotta go! Every night at ten I lay her again, down in the sand, down by the sea!" I remember a lot of us actually sang the song that way. We must have heard it hundreds of times and I swear that's what it sounded like and that's what I actually thought the lyrics were. Now, I find out the actual lyrics were:
"Louie, Louie, oh no Baby me gotta go, Aye-yi-yi-yi, I said Louie, Louie, oh baby Me gotta go.
Fine little girl waits for me; catch a ship across the sea; Sail that ship , all alone, Never know if I make it home."
Again, these lyrics make absolutely no sense (unlike my version which makes perfectly good sense). "Me gotta go?" Go where? To the bathroom?
My favorite lyrics are from the old "Doo Wop" songs of the fifties. The guys that wrote them would make up words just to make rhyme. Here's a couple of examples of that...beginning with Blue Moon!
"Bow Bow Bow Ba Ringadingding - a - Bangadangdang a Rangadangdang.....Blue Moon, you left me standing alone, without a love of my own......." Apparently this guy had a hard time getting "Chicks," and if he used those words in his sentences I understand why.
How about the words to "Get a Job?" They go "Ba Doom, Sha na na na na na na na na, Ba Doom, Sha na na na na na na na na, Ba Doom, Sha na na na na na na na na, Ba Doom, Sha na na na na na na na na, A yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip, mum mum mum mum mum mum, Get A Job, Sha na na na na na na na na!" I'm a licensed Auctioneer and even I have trouble with that one.
Talk about songs that were banned from the radio, "Wake Up Little Susie" by Muhlenberg's own Everly Brothers was banned for a period of time because of it's suggestive lyrics. You know them....
"Wake up Little Susie, wake up. Wake up Little Susie, wake up! We've both been sound asleep, wake up Little Susie and weep, the movie's over, it's four o'clock and we're in trouble deep, Wake up Little Susie, Wake up Little Susie!"
Of course in the 1950's can you imagine the shame of sleeping with a guy in his car at a drive-in movie? How do you explain your way outa that one? Radio just wasn't ready for story lines like this in those days!
Then there were happier songs that made less sense than those I've mentioned such as:
"Duke Duke Duke Duke of Earl Duke Duke, Duke of Earl Duke Duke Duke of Earl Duke Duke....Duke Duke Duke Duke of Earl Duke Duke, Duke of Earl Duke Duke Duke of Earl Duke Duke...As I walk through this world, nothing can stop the Duke of Earl, and-a-you, you are my girl and no one can hurt you, oh no.....Duke Duke Duke Duke of Earl Duke Duke, Duke of Earl Duke Duke Duke of Earl Duke Duke, Duke Duke Duke Duke of Earl Duke Duke, Duke of Earl Duke Duke Duke of Earl Duke Duke!"
By the time this song was written, it didn't even matter if it rhymed or not. That song was followed on the "Hit Parade" with this one....
"Hey Mr. Bass Man, you've got that certain somethin', Mr. Bass Man, you set that music thumpin' , To you it's easy when you go 1-2-3.....(in a high pitched voice) Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba! (now in a low voice), You mean ba-bah-ba-ba-bah, ba-ba-bah-bah-bah!
One can't help but look up to a mentor like Mr. Bass Man. It's sorta like Barney Fife meets Hulk Hogan!
How about "Who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp? Who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong? Who put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop? Who put the dip in the dip da dip da dip? Who was that man? I'd like to shake his hand...He made my baby fall in love with me (yeah!)."
I asked my wife once if the guy who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp was what made her fall in love with me? She looked at me like I had "gone completely off my Gourd!" I guess this just wasn't her idea of a love song and that's probably why it wasn't played at our wedding.
Remember "Be bop a lula, she's my ba-bee, be bop a lula, I don't mean maybee, be bop a lula she's my babee love, my baby love, my baby love?"
Things didn't get much better in the sixties. This was actually a #1 song for 5 weeks:
"Jeremiah was a bull-frog...Was a good friend of mine...I never understood a single word he said but I helped him drink his wine...and he alway had some mighty fine wine, singin' .... Joy to the World, All the boys and girls now, joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea, Joy to you and me!"
This was the biggest hit ever by "Three Dog Night!" If you read my earlier blog about "Earworms," this one is a fine example of that! When you get it on your mind, it's there forever....over and over and over!!!
Of course, just when you think some of those songs are the dumbest things you've ever heard, along comes this classic....
"Oh-me, oh-my, oh-you! Whatever shall I do? Hallelujah, the question is peculiah...I'd give a lot of dough, if only I could know, the answer to my question, is it yes or is it no? Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor on the bedpost over night? If your mother says don't chew it, do you swallow it in spite? Can you catch it on your tonsils, can you heave it left and right? Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor on the bedpost overnight?
Soon after this song went to #1, we sent a man to the moon in a rocket ship and brought him back! What a generation!!!!
The headlines of the sixties were dominated by the Vietnam war and there were a lot of protest songs in that period from people like Joan Baez and Janis Joplin but the greatest protest song ever written was sung by the most p_ssed of person I've ever heard. He was Barry McGuire and his song was Eve of Destruction. Here it is in it's entirety:
"The Eastern World, it is explodin' - violence flarin', bullets loadin'! You're old enough to kill, but not for votin', you don't believe in war, but what's that gun you're totin', and even the Jordan River has bodies floatin'
(Chorus) But you tell me over and over and over again, my friend, Ah you don't believe we're on the Eve of Destruction!
Don't you understand what I'm tryin' to say? Can't you feel the fears I'm feelin' today? If the button is pushed, there's no runnin' away...There'll be no one to save, with the world in a grave (Take a look around ya boy, it's bound to scare ya boy)
(Chorus)
Yeah, my blood's so mad, feels like coagulatin'....I'm sittin' here just contemplatin' ....I can't twist the truth, it knows no regulation.
Handful of Senators don't pass legislation...and marches alone can't bring integration, when human respect is disintegratin', this whole crazy world is just too frustratin'....
(Chorus)
Think of all the hate there is in Red China...then take a look around to Selma Alabama. You may leave here for 4 days in space but when you return it's the same old place. The poundin' of the drums, the pride and disgrace, you can bury your dead but don't leave a trace....Hate your next door neighbor, but don't forget to say grace and ...tell me over and over and over again my friend, Ah you don't believe we're on the Eve of Destruction....Naw, you don't believe we're on the Eve of Deestruckshun!!!!
In my opinion, that song best defined the sixties better than any other. Hopefully, Mr. McGuire learned to drink decaf coffee in his later life and finally calmed down. If he ever had any other hit, I don't remember it.
One of the neatest songs to sing along with (or as an "earworm") was sung by a nun. In fact, she called herself "The Singing Nun" and the song (which was #1 for about a month) was called "Dominique." If you could just pronounce the word "Dominique," the rest of the song was easy since it was sang in French. As long as the last word of each line rhymed, it didn't matter what the words really were...nobody in America knew anyway. The song actually went like this....
"Dominique, nique, nique s'en allait tout simplement Routier pauvre et chantant, En tous chemins, en tous lieux, il ne parle que du bon Dieu. Il ne parle que du bon Dieu A l'e pogue ou Jean-sans-terre Angleteree etait Roi Dominique, notre Pere, combattit les Albigeosis."
I'm told this is French for "Every night at ten I lay her again, down in the sand, down by the sea!"
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