When I was a kid growing up (why do we use that phrase...Of Course kids are always growing up!), we had a next door neighbor who never did anything. He always "Commenced" to do something. I never really knew what that meant, even to this day, but he used that term until he "Commenced" to die!
Many of you knew him and some will remember him. His name was Andy Morris and he was very colorful. He was a regular member and attendee of First Baptist Church until they got a preacher he didn't care for and after that he only attended Sunday School. He had too bad of a back to attend Church. He originally was a cabinet-maker and later when carpets became popular, he learned to install carpets and linoleum. I even worked for him for about a year. He never drove a car so he always had to depend on others to get him around. If they were unavailable, he'd call a Taxi (that's right, we had Taxi service back then).
Andy didn't believe too heavily in Banks. He always had a lot of cash stuck around and it wasn't unusual for him to have three or four thousand dollars in his pocket at any given time. I'll never forget that my Dad wanted to take us on a vacation to Washington D.C. and needed some cash. Unfortunately the train he was working on that day got stuck on a side crossing for several hours and he didn't get to the bank in time to cash a check for the trip. No problem...he simply walked next door to Andy's and ol' Andy cashed a check for him for several hundred dollars.
In his early years, Andy liked to "embibe" and did so quite excessively. He had a shop behind his house on Park Street and many times he would "partake of the recipe" (to paraphrase the Waltons) and ended up going to bed early and sleeping it off. I suppose "Mrs. Ola," his wife finally persuaded him of the "evils of his ways," and got him to stop, and when he stopped, he genuinely STOPPED! He became a "Teetotaler in the First Degree," and never took another drink again. I believe this was about the time he began going to Church. He never quit smoking, though and he smoked a filterless brand named "Fatima." I have to believe that when he died, Fatima went out of business because I think he was their only customer. Jack Dennis (Dennis Market) special ordered these cigarettes for him.
I'll never forget the story that was always told for the truth (although I doubt it was) on Andy. Seems he was laying a carpet for a lady on Third Street Hill one day and when he got finished, he loaded up his tools in his helper's car. His helper (and driver) in those years was Dan Murphy from up on eighth street (it was Dan who told me this story). Andy's wife, Ola, always made him a Thermos full of black coffee. Andy would drink a cup on the way to the jobsite, drink another with his lunch and finished it off after he got done with the job. He always said that if he brought any back, Ola would leave that much out of his Thermos the next day.
Anyhow, he had put away all the tools and settled in the passenger seat ready for his coffee and a cigarette. He reached in his shirt pocket and discovered his pack of Fatimas was missing. Quickly, he went back into the room where he had laid the carpet and right in the center of the room was a "lump" in the newly laid rug. He now knew where his cigarettes were. He went out to the carport and found a scrap piece of 2 x 4 about 4' long, went back into the room where he had laid the carpet and "Commenced" to smash the package of cigarettes completely flat. He then put the board away and started for his lunch box where he kept a new spare pack of Fatimas. As he was exiting, the lady of the house hollered at him, "Oh Mr. Morris, my parakeet got out of her cage again, did you happen to see her?" I'll let you decide whether this is true or not but Dan always said it was.
Speaking of Dan, I heard a great story on him. Seems that years ago when Dan was a Coal Miner, he attended a Union Meeting. The topic of discussion among the brotherhood that evening was the upcoming Strike at the end of their contract. A lot of "ballyhou" went on at that meeting and it was more of a "pep rally" than anything else. Most of these matters were decided by the Union's local Board. Many an inspirational speech was given and Dan just couldn't control his emotions.
When the President asked if anyone had any further comment before adjournment, Dan enthusiastically held up his hand. "Brother Murphy," he said, "Do you wish to address the membership?" "Yep, I do," said Dan, "My Brothers, just remember, it's United We Stand PROVIDED We Fall!" With that, they adjourned.
One story I do know that is true on Andy is this one. I know it because I was there. We were laying a new linoleum for a gentleman on Cherry Street named Bob Siple. Mr. Siple was a super nice gentleman and very interesting to talk to. Andy had a siamese cat named "Moses," which he loved dearly. He thought so much of this cat (thing was 'meaner than heck), that he removed his wife's picture from his wallet and stuck a picture of "Moses" in her place. If anyone ever brought up their kids or pets, he'd drag out the picture and tell them this story: "Moses is so smart," he would say, "that when he wants to eat, he would walk over to the refrigerator and say "MEOWKKK," for Milk. I must have heard this story fifty times and each time I'd simply turn and roll my eyes up into my forehead. He had just told this story to Bob Siple and Mr. Siple said "well, since you brought it up, let me show what my dog can do." He had a little dog that looked the same on both ends, sort of like a dust mop. He called the little dog over to where we were standing and pulled a "french harp" from his pocket and blew into it. The little dog barked out "I Want My MaMa" distinctly enough that we could easily understand it. That ended the story telling right then and there.
We then "Commenced" to lay the linoleum and left without further adieu! I never went back in to see if there was a lump in the center of the kitchen floor.
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