Some More Snow Stories.....

Originally written in January 2008

Please forgive me for "harping" on the same subject for today's blog but many of you shared some funny stories that I've also noticed.  Maybe by passing some of these experiences along, we can come up with some answers to these mystifying questions involving inclimate weather, most especially snow.

(1) Why is it that when snow is forecasted (sometimes up to a week in advance) that we have to get to the grocery store for "essential" supplies?

     Did any of you ever notice this?  Do we actually run out of bread and milk and eggs only when it's supposed to snow?  I had always heard that for years when Shelby Gene Stewart owned the IGA he would spend a week's advertising budget on fake weather forecasts calling for snow (snow forecasts are only accurate about 10% of the time...and even then at the last minute).  We would all gather in the car (as a man, I had to do the driving) and rush to the store only to stand in long lines to make our purchase.

(2)  Why is it that weather forecasters call for flurries but we only hear "up to 8 inches"?

     I remember one saturday I was visiting my brother who lives in Perkins Addition.  Phillip and Patsy Sparks lived directly across the street from him.  We were planning to go to the Moonlite for lunch (Saturday buffets are "cheap" before 2 p.m.) and Patsy came out and said Channel 7 was calling for a blizzard in the early afternoon.  They even went on to forecast this storm had the potential to dump more snow on the tri-state than any we had seen for years.  We cancelled our trip and headed to the IGA for Bread and Milk and Eggs (I still don't know why).  We hurried home, "hunkered down" and prepared to spend virtually weeks inside and you guessed it.....nothing happened.  We didn't even get as much as a flurrie.  The only one happy about it was my mother.

(3)  Why do people feel like they have to own a four wheel drive to get around in snow?

     First of all, I sold these babies for about 15 years.  I loved it when the snows came (even about 1/2") because it meant we were going to sell every four wheel drive we could get our hands on.  I've heard guys (never gals) say "I'm never going to miss work again because of snow!"  So they'd spend about $35,000 in today's money to purchase a ride to work.  Back then they made about $75.00 per day (do the math).  During this "ice age" I observed two things.  First, the four wheel drive they purchased got about 10 miles to the gallon if you were lucky and they drove these things 365 days a year.  Second, the "once or twice a year" that it actually snowed, the men who owned these beasts "skipped" work and played with them in the snow all day.  I remember one of the mine superintendents came by the dealership one snowy day and I asked him if he had a lot of absenteeism at his mine.  He told me that every one who owned a four wheel drive didn't show up.  The guys with the old "clunkers" with bald tires were there.  I always found that funny.

(4) When we get a deep snow that lasts two or three days, why is it that only LOUSY programs are available on TV?

    I remember three or four years ago (on Christmas Eve) we had an ice storm in the afternoon, followed by a four-inch snow that evening and followed with near zero temperatures overnight.  Salt and road chemicals did no good.  I know this because I was Mayor at the time and got lots of "cussins" because we couldn't get the snow off the roads for Christmas (but that's another story).  Anyhow, we were stuck at home with our families for this holiday period (what could be worse than that?) and it hit too fast for us to get to the movie rental stores and rent 40 movies.  All I can remember viewing on that weekend was Midnight Mass (in some foreign language) and that stupid story where the kid wants the Daisy BB gun was on a couple of channels running "marathons."  Most of the sports channels were showing reruns of Norwegian Rugby Championships or just playing Christmas Music.  Oh yeah, Ron Popeil was on about twenty channels hawking rotisserie ovens with guaranteed delivery by Christmas.  Of course, about every gift we exchanged required batteries (which are never included) and we couldn't get out to get to the store to purchase some (many of them were closed anyway).  Pope John Paul II was supposed to be performing the various midnite masses but he never woke up (Thank God, he had a lot of assistants to carry on). 

I'm sure most of you can identify with these problems.  Heck, some of you even own the four wheel drives I'm talking about.  Please don't take it personal.  As I mentioned in my last blog, pretty much anyone can drive in snow these days because of all-wheel drive, four-wheel drive, front wheel drive and steel-belted radial tires.  It hasn't been that many years ago that my Dad would run down to Doc Carr's gas station (when he was located on the "dog-leg" - remember that?) and have chains installed on the rear wheels of our Studebaker.  They were great until the sun came out and melted the snow off the road.  I don't know which got tore up the worst....the Road or the rear fenders of that old Studebaker.  Man it made a heckuva sound when one of those chains got thrown off the tire.

Well, I could go on for hours on this subject but we've got a ten-inch snow coming tonight and I've got to get to the grocery!